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True Confessions from one of
Horror’s Many Lovers
by Terrie Leigh Relf
How many lovers do you think Horror is currently juggling? What about in the past? Since Horror’s been around for a long time and stolen more than a few hearts (literally and figuratively), I’d say its lovers number in the millions!It goes without saying that not everyone who has been in bed with Horror will confess the deed. The proverbial, “I never kiss and tell,” leaves many of us to wonder if those who refuse to divulge their proclivities believe they have a reputation to uphold. Could they possibly be so naïve as to believe loving Horror would somehow taint them, that no other Genre would touch them “that way” after Horror has?
Jealousy, that many-tentacled monster (a wicked, wicked creature) has a tendency to show up when Horror is around. So, too, does Revenge (who, I might add, is a horrendous dance partner). If another Genre wants to mope about, why not smother them with love by inviting Horror to one of their gala parties? How long do you think the guests will be able to resist temptation? Sure, they may be a bit cautious at first, maybe even play hard to get, but I guarantee they’ll be screaming for Horror before daylight seeps beneath the door.
You already know I’ve been Horror’s lover for quite some time. I kiss and tell, too, and am apt to share all the gory little details until you beg for me to stop. I won’t say it hasn’t been a sacrifice at times, but “resistance,” as the saying goes, “is futile.” Horror is just so incredibly seductive, and I do so thrive on an-ti-ci-paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-tion.
When I’m alone at night, I just love to imagine all the naughty little things Horror has done for me. Where else might I shiver in the throes of a mind-altering chill, thrash about for just one more breath, then leap into the maelstrom where Chaos rearranges my atoms into a single perfect moment?
What do you think about when you’re alone at night? What about your relationships with those Other Genres? Are they as lusciously honest as Horror? Do they bend the rules? Shirk them altogether? Take you places you never even knew existed? What about gifts? Do those Other Genres anticipate your wants? How far do they dig to unearth your needs?If you can’t sleep at night, maybe it’s because you climb into bed with banal novels. If you’re plagued with nightmares (or daymares), what you need is to be thoroughly ravaged by Horror!
It’s just a thought…
If you’re a curious person who loves to solve puzzles, Horror offers these as well. Perhaps you’re even frustrated because after the credits scroll, the book ends, or the poem resonates off the page, you’re beset with unanswered questions. Some of these questions may be as visceral as, well, an alien female laying her eggs in an eviscerated mate, while others may toy with the proverbial “what ifs” that gnaw at our psyche until we risk implosion--much like a star going nova.Questions are a sign of intelligence, and Horror possesses intellectual as well as emotional intelligence. While I’m not claiming to be a genius in either category, I still wanted to share a few of the questions that have plagued me. While a few of these were “just” passing thoughts, much like asteroid showers in the night sky, others have haunted and possessed me, and I in turn continue to be obsessed with them. Perhaps this is why I’m an insomniac?
· What if John Lithgow showed up at my open mic with a poem he wrote based on his experiences filming Twilight Zone: The Movie?
· How many takes do you think it took to get that bathtub scene right in Constantine with Keanu Reeves?
· What if Robert Browning's "Porphyria's Lover” was based on a true story?
· What if the spirits that haunt the local drive-in only want to watch the movie and smell your buttered popcorn breath?
· What if the ghost that follows you around campus just wants to be your study buddy?
· What if those alien chicks in Decoy succeeded in impregnating more than just that one cop at the end?
· What if shows like Surface are a vehicle to prepare us for The Truth?
· What if you discover you run a Bed & Breakfast for the dead?
· What if your next door neighbor, a lovely, glamorous woman, is really one of the lizard people?
· What if you move into a gated community, only to discover that your neighbors are all daywalkers in a pilot 12-step program for vampires trying to switch from fresh to bagged blood?
· What if it’s not cats trying to steal your breath at night, but the dead?Horror is a curious lover, and adores you even more when you ask questions! How else do you think it gains entrance to your psyche? How else do you think Horror is able to perpetuate its existence, and so your inextricable bond? It is this insatiable quest for existential knowledge that has enabled Horror to prolong your affair—that, and the fact it has the soul of an artist, who, after feasting on your mind and body, carves your bones into intricate beads to wear as memento mori.
Why does Horror do all this?
To prove its love for you. I know you want to confess! Tell us all the gory details of your torrid affair with Horror!
© Relf, 2006