Scrawled in Blood: Why I write horror by Terrie Leigh Relf Dark and light are two sides of the same coin. We cannot have one without the other because they co-exist in a symbiotic and reciprocal relationship; their absence and/or presence is a scale seeking balance.           in the bedroom      angels      come winter     her wombs will spew forth gods It is that tension, that conflict, that world-between-worlds that is so fascinating-- the way shadows make mischief with our perceptions, seduce our bodies, minds, and spirits into believing things are not as they seem. Cocooned inside blankets, she sleeps with the lights on; come morning, her mother finds her transformed. We can “flip” the usual paradigm, too, where we open our eyes and there is darkness, close them, and there is light. But this internal world is not blank. So much is reflected there. spring cleaning-- whatever became of father's eyes? The unknown is fascinating. We crave experiences—if only imaginary—of clearing paths through kelp and seagrass-infested waters, of saving those who can’t swim from drowning in their own fears. Swimming off the pier she finds her twin sister who died before birth What about relationships gone awry? The metamorphosis that occurs when commitments are made, contracts signed, a couple’s fate supposedly sealed? scrawled in blood on the marriage bed – not even death will part us What about the dynamic process of chaos to order, order to chaos? Being out of control? Not knowing what comes next, being afraid of what comes next—and yet we invite this uncertainty into our lives… so many pushpins on the cork board… nesting grounds And so we peer into the darkness so that we may brave Nietzsche’s abyss, Jung’s Shadow, and Shelley’s monster, and so peel away the layers to the essence of who we are.   in the mirror  many faces  which my own? Some see death as a closed door—even a door slammed in their faces. But for others, death is a revolving door, a gateway to another realm, another dimension—or a parallel universe, perhaps… waiting at the Rim of Shadows body exchange Perhaps monsters are genetically encoded, some sequences active, others merely on pause, while still others wait for an external stimuli to activate them.   she was a normal child once Isn’t it about possibilities? The fears that rise from the troubled mind, the psyche that doesn’t know, doesn’t honor, doesn’t listen to the voices of social proprieties, that crosses the line separating mental health from mental illness? The voice that tells us to do the unthinkable—and so we do? humming Mephisto's Waltz she sharpens all the knives What about the supernatural? Some admit that communicating with ghosts and spirits, exhibiting so-called extraordinary abilities is all part of the human condition. In the garden, a full moon. Night blooming jasmine mingles with his cologne. For a few moments, even she forgets he’s been dead for nearly a year… Then there are the aliens…Our culture has them engaged in all sorts of benign and nefarious purposes—even altruistic ones. They’ve been known to abduct, inseminate, experiment with and otherwise enter our minds and homes. But maybe they’re just lonely and need a date… even Terrans are smelling good Boortian mating frenzy Natural horrors abound as well, as recent and past events have shown us. Storms, hurricanes, tornados, tsumanis, volcanic eruptions, and asteroid showers… stuck in an endless loop - emergency news There is humor in the darkness as well. Irony. Satire. Irreverence. Just plain old-fashioned fun and delight! Monsters can be cute and cuddly— even greatly misunderstood. Perhaps we make monsters in order to understand how they work? just in time for the holidays - Monster Dissection Kit © Relf, 2005 Relf is an active member of the Science Fiction Poetry Association (http://www.sfpoetry.com) whose poems have appeared extensively both on-and-offline. Jupiter’s Eye, her third collection of poetry, was published by Sam’s Dot Publishing in 2004. Her poem, “a poet on board” (Illumen, 2004), was recently nominated for a Rhysling Award, and made the Top 10 in the Preditors & Editors Award. “How to write zips and zip rengays” (Scifaikuest, 2004) was nominated for a James B. Baker Award for “best article” (http://www.samsdotpublishing.com). Relf is the editor of Hungur, a bi-annual anthology of ancient and alien vampire fiction (Guidelines are available at: http://www.samsdotpublishing.com). You may contact her at: tlrelf@cox.net.